Lesson 4: The Iceberg model

“Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know.”

Jim Rohn

Communication happens both internally and externally. This ‘Iceberg model’ which helps us understand how as humans there is a lot happening for us ‘under the surface’ (internally) that people don’t see, yet it’s what is below the surface that drives how others experience us above the surface.

This experience others have of us impacts the results we get from our conversations, which in turn impacts our quality of life at work and at home.

Life below the surface – Our Way of Being

Below the surface we have our ‘Way of Being’ – our values, our beliefs, our culture, our fears and dreams. All these factors are going on below the surface and are hidden from those around us – and often we’re not even aware of it ourselves.

Our Way of Being shows up in in four domains:

• Listening
• Speaking
• Emotional state
• Physical Body

These domains are like our toolkit for communicating well. Listening and speaking make up the basic toolkit, it’s how we build our messages. Our moods and body are how we go about using that toolkit.